Motherhood and Letting Go

If you've known me for a while, you know I've historically been known as a control freak, a planner or a micro-manager.

If pregnancy and motherhood has taught me one thing it's how to let go of that. Out of necessity. It's been frustrating to be scoffed at by loved ones who assume I'm incapable of growth.

I am enjoying motherhood even more than I thought I would (which again, if you know me you'd think that wouldn't have been possible). I attribute that to learning how to let go of a lot of irrational thoughts, what-ifs and it-needs-to-be-this-ways.

Now I know, "how do I just let go?". Sorry friends, I don't have a magic algorithm. What I do have are some concepts that help:

Trust yourself

Have faith that you are a badass who can handle anything. When shit hits the fan you know you'll duck.

Trust your support system

It takes a village. Think about the people who have your back. When the load gets too heavy, who can you trust to delegate some of that weight to? What things can be delegated? SPEAK IT! Ask for specific help!

No expectations are good expectations

I also went into motherhood expecting the worst. So I was pleasantly surprised! However, this caused a great deal of undue stress and anxiety. So where is the balance there? Awareness without expectations. It circles back to trusting yourself and your circle SHOULD anything go "wrong". I thought I would not co-sleep. I love to co-sleep. I went into it hoping to breastfeed but not expecting to be able to. I endured many trials and succeeded. I thought I'd breast feed and pump/give a bottle so dad could help me. That happened in the beginning but my supply suffered. So I had to be dedicated to nursing and he ended up not taking a bottle after we both had to learn breastfeeding. Y'all... nothing goes to plan. We gotta learn to just pivot and do what we can to survive.

Knowledge is often power

I say often because for some people, knowing too much can be too overwhelming. Some people are the opposite and find comfort in being familiar with things before they happen. Educate yourself on all things labor, postpartum (do not prep all for labor and forget to research how the heck to take care of yourself afterwards and what you might expect!), newborn care. Help your friends with their babies. Learn their tips and tricks. Get acquainted with diaper changing before it's all new to you. This helped so much more than I could have imagined. I did not doubt myself once mine came because I was already practiced. That made things so much easier!

Remember that humans have been doing this for centuries. If they can do it, so can you!