10 Trying to Conceive Tips

1. Get a checkup with your OBGYN

Not only to assess your health, but also to re-interview your doctor. This doctor will likely guide you through one of the most intense processes in your life! You are allowed to switch doctors at ANY time, but you may want to start off on the right foot. Not all doctors deliver at all hospitals either. Many are affiliated with a specific hospital so you may want to research that going into this.

Trust me you also don't want to be trying to do all this research when you get your first BFP (Big Fat Positive). You'll want to call and schedule ASAP!

2.Track your cycle

Timing is everything when making a baby. The more data you have to go off of, the more accurate your timing will be. It's so wild that some people may get pregnant after one sexy-time but many take months of perfect timing. It's an intense process! The more regular your cycle is, the easier to predict your fertile window.

3. Try the PreMom app

Speaking of predicting your fertile window... I LOVED the PreMom app for guiding me on when to try to conceive! This app can just use your menstruation data, but it also can receive ovulation test data. This makes decoding these tests so much easier.

4. Take ovulation tests

This is optional of course, but conception is all about timing and this is pretty much the only sure fire way to tell when/if you are ovulating. It measures your LH (Luteinizing hormone) which will spike quick and drop quick as you release your egg. Your egg has a whole 12-24 hours to live once it's been dropped. Sperm can live in a woman for several days. This is why you should administer the sperm on the days leading up to your ovulation. Because once you miss your ovulation, that cycle is closed. As mentioned above, the PreMom app is excellent in telling you when to take these little tests. I definitely suggest buying these in bulk as you'll take a lot of them! Here's a link to the ones I bought. Bottom line: the test line must be AS DARK AS the control line or DARKER to be positive for ovulation. There will always be something showing up on the test line, unlike a pregnancy test where a faint is still a positive. The LH test is measuring the level of the hormone which is always present. We want to see a spike and a drop, which is why you have to take multiple.

5. Do the deed

My best tip for this... begin with oral. Depending on who you are, it can take a while and be exhausting. Getting the majority of the way towards the climax with oral can save you a lot of energy. My second best tip: have a washcloth with you. Lots of saliva from oral can get messy and frustrating. Your handy washcloth (haha, pun intended) can help with that! Then once the deed is done, you have that rag to hold to your bottom while you waddle to the bathroom. There are theories that certain positions can help or that the woman climaxing after the man has can "suck" up the sperm. My take: "Eh". Try not to obsess over doing all of the little things right. Less stress = body determines better "environment" for conception. Just think, accidental pregnancies happen and they definitely didn't obsess over all the elements.

6. Performance Anxiety

Remember, you two are creating a child together.

This is an experience to be shared, not a performance. Try to savor it, and put your heart into it rather than being stressed about the administration of ingredients. If you're purposefully making a child with someone, that is amazing! And should be treated like an amazing thing!

7. Special Lube?

Lube is definitely an important tool for sex. But it can hinder conception if you use the wrong kind. You can buy the expensive pre-seed if you'd like. Won't hurt but I'm not too convinced it helps all that much. I actually used coconut oil. Cost effective, and natural. Talk to your doctor of course.

8. When to test

Typically a positive result cannot show up any sooner than 10 DPO (days post-ovulation). You likely will only know when you ovulated if you had tracked with LH tests. Best rule of thumb is 2 weeks after ovulation, when your period should be due. Don't assume and don't panic. Plenty of healthy pregnancies can show up on a test later than the missed period too. A faint line is a positive, it doesn't have to be super dark!

9. Big emotions

It's ok to feel sad if it didn't work this cycle. It's ok to feel relieved sometimes too. Making a child is full of complex emotions and moving parts. The most important thing is to not bottle these feelings up. You should be sharing with your partner. Although, be sure not to "place blame". You don't want to create tension around it or give off the impression of resentment. If you are worried about fertility, make an appointment and talk to your doctors. They typically say that you should see your doctor if you have been trying for 1 year and haven't conceived, and even shorter if you are above 35. I know I overanalyzed things. It took us a total of 5 trying months to be blessed with our boy. I say trying months because my mental health took such a nose dive that I took a 2 month break to get it back on track and get on some medication. I honestly believe that doing that helped us. Your body and mind are very connected.

10. Pray, or other.

I'm not known for being a big believer. But I tell you hwhat (*Hank Hill voice*), right after I started attending mass with my husband and praying for the things I was thankful for and asking for a child, we conceived. Call it coincidence if you will, but the positive thinking and gratitude could only help. And that's why I say "or other". Because prayer isn't just a simple conversation where you are attempting to speak TO God. I see it as an exercise. A deep reflection. Even if there isn't someone on the other end of that prayer, YOU are still in that chat-room. The things you think really have a profound effect on everything- emotional and physical health. Your focus determines your reality. Practice strengthening those positive pathways.