Notes as a 3rd Time Mom

Hospital

• Knees in ankles out a winner for me. Here’s why.

• I knew preparing a playlist is something some moms do. But I had no clue what would want. When I got into the room, the hospital had some sort of meditation music playing through the remote. And I honestly REALLY liked it!

• Sound machine - YES. I thought it was a little silly… my phone can play white noise and use as a flashlight? Pfttt, I brought my favorite this time and LOVED it! Husband and I could poop without feeling like we had an audience. It helped a LOT with being able to sleep at the hospital too! Here’s the link, I am super picky on sound machines!

• Own pillows - YES. I thought this was silly too but this was great this time around!

• Abdominal binder - YES. Your guts feel like they’re falling out of your bottom… this is great security. The hospital has them already too, just ask! They actually used one for me while I was laboring to help hold the monitors in place. Here’s a link to one an Instagram mama that I like a lot loved after her 7th birth!

Other products

• MomCozy carrier (OEKO TEX certified!)

• Puppy pads for diaper changes, especially middle of the night.

• Windi! Seems so silly… but a lifesaver! Link to off brand.

• My favorite swaddles, especially for hot months. So simple.

• Yoga. Ball. The absolute best for burping and soothing. Rolling back and forth helps rock those burps up gently too. My babe’s favorite position is his back to my chest, holding his bottom in a seated position or legs scrunched. This helps my boobs push his back straight so air can rumble upwards and also helps him poop/pass gas.

  Tired? Face the couch and rest your knees against it as a brace.

  

General advice

• Unless there’s a medical reason, don’t bother with app logging. It’ll just stress you out and another chore.

• Stay in bed for night wake ups! Prepare with all your supplies bedside before calling it a night. If formula feeding, get one of these and prep your bottles with water and mix as needed.

• Two way zippers on EVERYTHING!

• Hold a hand on their belly during diaper changes. They flail and feel unstable, and this makes it much more secure feeling.

• Boys- flip the penis down when you close the diaper up! They will pee straight up or out the side!

• Shooting sh!t is a thing. Be prepared and have your changing pad mostly on the path of where the shooting will happen! Scrunching and blanching of the testicles can sometimes be a sign they’re about to have a good BM.

• Massage belly lightly downward on their left side or over their whole lower belly in a clockwise motion. This can help the muscles do what they need to do and the gas to travel.

• When wiping the hole, lightly push and pull to the side. That can sometimes “open the door” to let gas out.

• Tuck the burp rag into your bra strap so it doesn’t fall off.

• You could also clip it in with your pacifier clip to baby’s shoulder like so:

  

• Learn the football hold!

• Another great gas position is laying them on your upright knees as the back support with their scrunched legs facing you, using your belly to rest their feet.

  

Pumping

• I’ve tried a TON of pumps and combinations. The CHEF’S KISS is the Baby Buddha + Medela cups. Warning- BB is STRONG!! The hype is DESERVED! I can only use it on level 1 and honestly that’s all I need! I limit myself to 10 minutes of pumping each session to avoid causing inflammation.

• Remember when your milk comes in and you’re engorged that it may not ALL be milk that’s making you feel painful and full. Remove what you can and let it be. Ice your boobs after each session for a while because the fullness you’re feeling is likely inflammation. And the inflammation keeps you from effectively removing all of the milk. Combat the inflammation before worrying about any clogged ducts! I learned this the hard way this time around.

• Use Aeroflow! This is my second time using them. Seamless! Plus they email you about ordering replacement supplies and milk bags ALSO covered by insurance! It may be different now, but this is actually how I’ve gotten different attachments for different pumps in order to sort of mix and match. Like this time my Medela cups with the BB pump.

• Make sure when pumping with in-bra cups that your bra is not too tight. That’ll restrict and limit how much you can pump out.

• Nipple shields are a life saver! Saves my nipples from harsh reintroduction to constant sucking. All 3 of my kids have had lip ties and this allowed me to actually breastfeed prior to any alterations. If baby gets used to it, you can eventually transition them off of it too and onto bare breast. I’d still offer bare breast a couple times a day.

• Put your pump parts in the fridge between sessions and wash them every 24 hours. Have 2 sets of pump parts (cups in my case) so you never have to wait for it to be washed.

• Don’t let anything delay pumping. Get it done and over with before putting it off. Take this seriously or your supply WILL respond! I learned this one the hard way twice over! That’s why I LOVE the BB pump and wearable cups!

• Pump at least once in the middle of the night. Production is the highest at night. If you cut this one out, your supply will feel it. If you’re nursing at night, disregard! Milk removal is milk removal. It’s important to consistently signal to your body that you need what is removed. You don’t have to be strict on every 2-3 hours overnight though for pumping. That’s not sustainable! If you can, get a single 4-5 hours stretch and don’t feel bad about it.

• My favorite bottles - Lansinoh. Match to what your anatomy is most like. If breastfeeding in combination with bottle feeding, stick to newborn level nipples or they’ll prefer the faster flow over the breast. If bottle feeding breastmilk, honestly the 5oz ones are more than enough since your calorie content adjusts as baby grows so you’ll only ever really need to feed at most ~5oz at a time. This is not the same with formula!

Routine related

• It may seem obvious but my first time I had no clue what kind of routine would work for me. And honestly it can change every week!

• Lean on paper plates and bowls and plastic silverware!! Load the dishwasher throughout the day and run on 1hr cycle every day. For me that’s the morning with all the overnight bottles included and the pump cups as I switch to my other set.

• Have ONE family laundry basket and run it as soon as it’s full. (Unless you’re wild and separate your lights and darks!) Have a little basket for each family member (I add pictures of our faces so my 4yo can help sort) and sort it right away. Doesn’t mean you have to put it away right away but it is SO much easier to put away when you do and if you need to find something from the clean laundry “pile” it’s easy peasy.

• Every night I swap the days burp rag and blanket for a fresh one. Yes, this is a lot of laundry. That’s just the name of the game until they stop being so juicy all the time! My second never spit up and practically didn’t need burp rags!

Cosleeping

Even if it’s something you do not want to do, it’s better to be aware and prepared with safety measure in case it accidentally happens. Here’s my favorite account that was shared with me when I had my first: @happycosleeper

I also think it’s valuable to consider how other countries and other cultures do things. I could not sleep at all otherwise with my first!

Mental health

• It’s true, they really do respond to your emotions and feed off of your energy. I learned that the hard way with my first. I had no clue how much I lacked in my own emotional regulation. @chaoswithcara has me feeling SEEN and has some great advice as she walks through it all too!

• This sh!t is HARD! Put the baby down in a safe spot, walk away and CRY and/or SCREAM. Whatever you need to do to regulate and come back. 5 minutes to yourself while baby safely cries is better than trying to raw dawg it until you snap.

• Tag team! This is probably my #1 piece of advice, especially adjusting with the sleep deprivation with my first. I learned to get in a nap before bedtime. Dad took a shift from say 8pm-10pm so I could get a solid 2 hr stretch without being “on-call” listening for baby. If you can, do more!

• The “sleep when the baby sleeps” is less of an oversimplified piece of advice, and more of a “hey, put those dishes down and CHOOSE to rest when the baby does!” When you get a chance, TAKE IT. Things will inevitably pile up… but the sleep deprivation ALSO piles up!

• My personal non-nogotiable: shower every night. Dad can hold the baby for 10 minutes. Decompress, clean yourself, and put on fresh pajamas!

• Remember A SCREAMING BABY IS A BREATHING BABY!!!

There is so much more I could write too. The little things you pick up along the way are endless!